FCC Week 10: Webinar 5, How is it going?

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  • This is a very late post; I’ve not had time to take this step. As you may (or not) recall, I am a long distance caregiver so I haven’t been able to consistently practice these skills EXCEPT to say that I am trying them on people not maloriented – my teenage son, for example. Sometimes just repeating what he says with the same energy (dialed down a bit) is all he needs to stop going into ‘blaming and shaming’ (with his mother!) and turning the conversation into a more positive and productive direction. Yay!

  • sorry if this is a repost….

    Joan Harn says:
    September 13, 2019 at 7:28 pm
    I’m a little behind on the new activity prompt, but I’ve been practicing communication skills and have found some success with repeating Mom’s words. One recent success was when I lay down in her bed with her before she awakened. She opened her eyes and smiled at me and said, ‘I’m enjoying getting reacquainted with you.’
    I responded, ‘Getting reacquainted.’ She beamed. A simple thing that was easy for me to do!

    For new activities, I just received a book that Jaye recommended, ‘Montessori Works for Dementia’ by Stephen and Bernadette Phillips. It addresses activities of daily living like washing, dressing, and toileting. It seems very consistent with validation and has good information about reasons and barriers associated with various behaviors. It also has information about sensory, language, and cultural activities.

    Regarding my mother’s hygiene and independence issues, I did have one conversation expressing my worry. I don’t know how much she has retained, but she did manage to start each day this week in clean pants. I still have too much personally invested in this. It makes a huge difference in my attitude when she is cleanish. I continue to practice my centering.

  • I’m a little behind on the new activity prompt, but I’ve been practicing communication skills and have found some success with repeating Mom’s words. One recent success was when I lay down in her bed with her before she awakened. She opened her eyes and smiled at me and said, ‘I’m enjoying getting reacquainted with you.’
    I responded, ‘Getting reacquainted.’ She beamed. A simple thing that was easy for me to do!

    For new activities, I just received a book that Jaye recommended, ‘Montessori Works for Dementia’ by Stephen and Bernadette Phillips. It addresses activities of daily living like washing, dressing, and toileting. It seems very consistent with validation and has good information about reasons and barriers associated with various behaviors. It also has information about sensory, language, and cultural activities.

    Regarding my mother’s hygiene and independence issues, I did have one conversation expressing my worry. I don’t know how much she has retained, but she did manage to start each day this week in clean pants. I still have too much personally invested in this. It makes a huge difference in my attitude when she is cleanish. I continue to practice my centering.

  • I had questions about the cost of the trip. It was well worth it. Vicki is charismatic and it is just wonderful we has access to such talent – and for two days.

    I have a problem, when I focus on something, I forget everything else. Got caught up in a project ant was late in responding to this weeks comments. I need to learn, I know my wife is deeply disappointed when I don’t spend time with her at the end of the day, when she expects attention, and need to avoid looking at my phone when I am with her. Personal time is for her, dummy.

  • My most meaningful experience related to validation this week was that I attended a support group that I had not made it to in 4 or 5 months. There were two new families struggling with what to say to relatives who wanted to go home, or who didn’t recognize them, or various things.

    I told a little about the validation method vs therapeutic lying and diversion, etc. Everyone was very open to it.

    The best part is that one of the ladies who attends said:

    It must have been a great course! You look much more ‘alive’ and ‘peaceful’.

    I laugh that previously I did not look alive or peaceful, but I can totally relate to both feelings (feeling dead and in unrest) so that is good that validation method is having positive effect on me in addition to hopefully helping my relationship with my mom too.

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