FORUM
FOR THE VALIDATION COMMUNITY
AND NAOMI FEIL
A Message from Naomi Feil:
I have some bad news to share with you. I have been diagnosed with Stage IV metastatic cancer and the doctors tell me I have less than six months to live.I am at home receiving palliative care, surrounded by family and excellent caregivers.
My greatest wish now, as it has been for the past 50 years, is that everyone keep using Validation, spreading Validation, teaching Validation – so that older adults around the world feel heard, respected and gain self-esteem.
Thank you for carrying on my life’s work.
Your love and messages to Naomi
Gracias
Querida Naomi:
Gracias por enseñarme tanto, sos, fuiste y serás siempre un referente de trabajo y de vida para mi y mis alumnos.
Rezaré por tu salud, por tu familia y por todos los que tenemos esa enfermedad.
Te abrazo desde Argentina
(Dear Naomi:
– Cecilia Millán
Naomi,
Thank you for all your work, I am grateful that I meet you two times in my life. Your work has touch and changes so many life’s!
I have been a validation worker for 15 plus years now, the words that I have always told my team that works for me is that until I became a validation worker, I was like a carpenter with only a work belt. I had no tools, until I became a validation worker. The master that trained me was Rita Altman from Sunrise in California.
I remember in my class, I started to cry when I realized that so many residents in my past care could of not wanted to eat because they were too sad to eat!
I told so many of my team members that I would share just basic things like the W’s – that once you see the resident respond a light bulb will go off in your head. You will see that they reached the resident and that the validation truly works… So many have come to my office in tears saying it happened, it worked, they spoke to me!!!
I will forever use the tools from validation, share my stories and be forever grateful for The Validation Method!!
I will see you on the other side my friend!!
Love and respect,
– Viola Kaake
I’m so sorry to hear that. I’ll be praying for you and your family.
Naomi,
When I first became a CDP and watched your video showing your validation technique with a sweet lady with end-stage dementia and watching her “come out” of her shell and sing with you, cry with you, her holding your hand, all I could do was cry….. it touched me to my core. It made me want to be just like you. I have been a nurse for 38 years. It is my passion, loving and caring for others after losing my mother when I was 16 and she was 33. It became my mission in life to be knowledgeable and to be able to assist my family and friends with keeping them informed with their health care needs. It wasn’t until recently that I became more involved with the elderly population. Now that I am, it brings me great joy to talk with them, to try and “meet them where they are in their life cycle” and to use this validation technique….. to be like you. You have taught me so much in my efforts on approaching the people with dementia and I appreciate you.
I pray you are exactly where you want to be and with the ones that love you the most. You are truly a wonderful soul. My prayers are with you. God bless.
Thanks so much,
– Loretta Lane
Dear Naomi,
Snowy Siberia, Russia, Krasnoyarsk is saddened by the news about your health!
Strength to you and your loved ones!
Two years ago, meeting with you turned our idea of people with dementia upside down! Now we are telling everyone about you: how validation helps to find meaning, love and respect for people suffering from dementia (unfortunately, there is very little information, and we welcome every mention of you).
We hope that the political situation between our countries will stabilize, and we will buy your books, your courses to help more than a dozen people with dementia.
We embrace you from the bottom of our hearts! Fight!
We are sending you photos of our wards from the day stay group.
The light and smiles on their faces are also your merit!
Thanks!
Sincerely, to you and your family, we are infinitely grateful
Comprehensive social service Center “Life”
– Ekaterina Mashkovskaya and Victoria Krasnopeeva
Dear Naomi,
Snowy Siberia, Russia, Krasnoyarsk is saddened by the news about your health!
Strength to you and your loved ones!
Two years ago, meeting with you turned our idea of people with dementia upside down! Now we are telling everyone about you: how validation helps to find meaning, love and respect for people suffering from dementia (unfortunately, there is very little information, and we welcome every mention of you).
We hope that the political situation between our countries will stabilize, and we will buy your books, your courses to help more than a dozen people with dementia.
We embrace you from the bottom of our hearts! Fight!
We are sending you photos of our wards from the day stay group.
The light and smiles on their faces are also your merit!
Thanks!
Sincerely, to you and your family, we are infinitely grateful
Comprehensive social service Center “Life”
– Ekaterina Mashkovskaya and Victoria Krasnopeeva
In the mid-90s, my Unit Manager for the Nursing Home I worked on and some work colleagues attended a workshop with Naomi in Stockholm. They thought that everything had been so good and exciting. My unit manager bought the book “V/F VALIDATION® The Feil Method – How To Help Disoriented Old-Old” which has just been published in Swedish. I read the book and thought about how to do everything that was written there. I tested some questions that were in the book, but didn’t know how to really do it.
We started a project at my workplace, where we wanted to improve the quality of life for those who lived in the ward. In that work, we decided to find out more about the Validation method. We learned that they worked based on the Validation Method at Ersta in Stockholm and went there to learn more about their work. Then we invited Rita Schwarz to a full-day workshop in the method. After this, some of us got the opportunity to go to the Level 1 Validation Worker course.
Already during the course, we noticed effects in the people we followed during our course. When a relative of a woman in Phase 3 thanked me for working with her mother during my course, I understood how good Validation really is. Even then, I knew that I wanted to help spread knowledge about the Validation Method in various ways in Sweden. Today I am a Validation Teacher and I will continue to spread knowledge about Naomi and her work in any way that I can. Without that knowledge, I don’t think I would still be working in the care of people with cognitive impairments today. I will continue to spread knowledge about Validation in any way that I can.
I have had the opportunity to meet Naomi 3 times when she has been in Sweden. It has been memorable. Naomi has really done an important job and is a pioneer in person-centred approach and meeting people with cognitive impairments with respect.
Maria Hedman Holmblad Validation Teacher in Sweden
– Alles Gute
C’est avec une grand tristesse que je viens d’apprendre cette mauvaise nouvelle.
Toutes mes pensées avec vous.
Je garde de bons souvenirs de votre passage à Porrentruy et toutes les autres fois que j’ai eu la chance de vous rencontrer. Merci pour tout ce que vous m’avez apporté, convaincu par votre approche des personnes désorientées j’ai toujours était un de vos fidèles disciples et un de vos relais ici dans la Suisse francophone.
Encore merci et merci pour toutes ces personnes qui grâce à votre vision ont pu être accompagnées dans la dignité, et tous les soignants dont moi compris avons retrouvés du sens à notre travail.
Je vous souhaite d’être bien accompagné dans ce dernier parcours de votre vie et soyez sûr que les graines que vous avez semées fleurissent dans le monde entier et continueront à fleurir à jamais.
Bien à vous
– Freddy Clavijo.
Suisse
It is with great sadness that I have just learned this bad news.
All my thoughts with you.
I have good memories of your time in Porrentruy and all the other times I had the chance to meet you. Thank you for everything you have given me, convinced by your approach to disoriented people I have always been one of your faithful disciples and one of your relays here in French-speaking Switzerland.
Thank you again and thank you for all these people who, thanks to your vision, were able to be supported with dignity, and all the caregivers, including myself, have found meaning in our work.
I wish you well on this final journey of your life and be sure that the seeds you have sown flourish throughout the world and will continue to bloom forever. )
Dear Naomi,
I will always remember and always be grateful to have had Naomi visit China while I was there training the staffs of Senior Living L’Amore in the policies and procedures of Meridian Senior Living. Naomi’s guidance and inspiration as well as her enthusiasm and energy in introducing Chinese caregivers to the precepts of Validation will be a lasting tribute to her efforts to help those living with Alzheimer’s and related dementias. She so inspired the staff of Senior Living L’Amore (Chunxuanmao 椿萱茂) that they underwrote the translation of her book into Chinese and became the second Asian certified AVO.
– Robert Arsenault
Dear Naomi
Dear Naomi
– Anna
CHERE Naomi Feil,
Dearest Naomi,
I received the news that your health is not going well and that it is coming to an end. Dear Naomi, God has endowed you with this outstanding vision and activity and I adore you and have gladly accepted and applied your vision. You as a public figure, it was an honor.
Your family will be with you until the end and my thoughts are with you.
A beautiful and timeless time is waiting for you, I know that and you will always remain in my heart and God will take you when HE wants
Many people adore you, like I do
With love and gratitude
– Anke Sylvia Korinth
Thank you, Naomi, for inspiring so many. Your wisdom, passion, and dedication reflected in every work that you do, and we have been so privileged to learn from you through your presentations and resources. You are truly an inspiration to me, and your teachings will always be ingrained in the work that I do.
With heartfelt gratitude,
– Jennifer
Dear Naomi,
I’d like to send you a lot of love at this time of your life.
I have recorded in my mind your immense empathy and your presence.
I would like my message to be filled with that powerful energy that you have always transmitted.
For me, you have been an example to follow, from Validation.
A very strong hug from Barcelona, and lots of love for you.
– Duna
Dear Naomi,
you enrich my life, my innermost being, my heart!
I met you in Bremen and was able to experience you as a resident in a shared apartment have validated.
I was so fascinated by what happened during this validation and decided: I want to learn that!!!
No sooner said than done and so I started my training at Heidrun in Bremen.
What a gift for me!!!
I immersed myself in validation and my inner attitude towards life has changed.
What a gift I got from you!!!
Thank you very much !
Antje Engeleke-Denker
What is immortal in human work is what is made
from the heart, full of love, for them
is thought, felt and accomplished by humanity
– v. Rudolf Steine
Oh nooooo Naomi.
Yesterday I was shocked by such sad news…
Naomi, you will be around us when we talk, observe and listen to people who some time ago would have been invisible, abandoned and alone in any corner due to lack of knowledge about how to understand what’s happening to them. All of us have learned a lot thanks to you, Naomi and your VALIDATION Method or way of understanding behaviours and communication needs. Thanks Naomi, you are so human, so generous, so resilient,…you are a top person in our heart. Live slowly and savor every moment as you wish. Let me send you a sweet kiss.
I feel proud of having been lucky to meet you in Barcelona some years ago. Just then something special woke up in me that forever will be part of me and the basis in my way of working. I promise you that you will always be present in my daily work and I will spread, wherever I am, all I have learnt from you.
THANKS FOR SO MUCH !!!!!!!!!
Let me send you a sweet kiss and a “bear”hug if you like them.
Sincerely,
– Mercè Cabot Ximenes
Collaborator of Fundación Cuidados Dignos.
Dear Naomi,
Naomi, you have shown me the importance of connecting with people on a human level. Inside the person is always there and you have devoted your career to validating and interpreting what people are telling us.
Now in my career, this forms a huge part of my practice and it’s all because of you. Wishing you strength and peace,
We all love you and cannot thank you enough
– David Wilson-Wynne xx
As an almost-18-year Sunrise veteran, I have seen firsthand the results of Naomi’s teaching. She has revolutionized the way we approach our memory care residents, and in many ways, the way we treat all fellow humans. She has taught us how to be in the moment and to be ever mindful of safeguarding the dignity of our elders, and her impact cannot be overstated. I pray that she will enjoy her remaining time in comfort, peace, and joy, and that her family will know that their Sunrise family is holding them all close to our hearts.
With the utmost of love and respect,
– Kathy McDonagh
Dear Naomi,
I’m very sorry to hear that your state of health has deteriorated. I hope that you are taken care of by medical professionals and your dearest family and friends.
I graduated as a validation teacher in 2000 and I had the pleasure to meet you a few times, when you visited Finland. I remember from those encounters, that you are a very warm person and you truly appreciate other people. I have been impressed by the fact that you have taught others as you have lived and worked with people with dementia. You have done very remarkable development work for all people with dementia around the world.
Your wish that we will cherish the validation method with next generations will surely come true, as you have created something truly meaningful. It is valuable for all of us. I think the most important thing with the validation method is that people with dementia can maintain their confidence and feel that they are appreciated and valuable people.
For me the validation method is the only way to face people with dementia and it has been important to follow its principles while working. For me this is a matter of heart (in Finnish we say sydämen asia) and I am wearing those pink glasses that I’m looking through people with dementia. I am very grateful for all that I have learnt from you.
The warmest thoughts for you and God bless you!
Sincerely,
Tuija Uusitalo
– John T.
– Deanna
Hi Naomi- I took Sandy’s first course 4 years ago and discovered I had “sort of” been doing validation on my own albeit haphazardly. The course made sense to me but, now, I recognize the full impact.
I took the second course-I had my Reminiscence group at Sunrise of North Wales—and I got it! I had a resident, will call her a generic, Mary, who I really wanted in the group ((she was constantly searching the halls for her Mother). She was terrifically resistant and refused to participate in any subject -I asked her to be our philosopher-she did agree to that.
After 4 months of weekly, resisting, attendance, she called me over at the end of a group and spilled a horrific story of abuse.
We worked together, 1:1, and she is now sharing her story with other folks in Reminiscence. She does, on occasion, still search for the love her Mother could/would not give-it seems to be less often and she has been more engaged.
I have now left that community—on my departure day, we had a long conversation; Mary said to me she knew I was not her Mother and yet, she loved “how I had been”.
What an incredible gift you have developed, taught and given us. At one point, I remember gleefully shouting to my peers, “validation works!” .
It has also assured me that opening my heart to the old-old or those Reminiscent folk who need touch and validation is not an exercise in futility.
I wish you all peace, you have changed my outlook of senior care.
My heart to yours. Linda
Linda Calvert, Senior AVC Float, Sunrise Senior Living
I first met you and your daughter Vicki during my work with the Eden Alternative. You both struck me as pillars of humanness, devoted to teaching care partners how to see the truth of the whole person in their path.
As someone who walked to the edge of physical life myself in the past 5 years due to a blood cancer, I hear and empathize with your desire to walk into the next with awareness of, and some processing of what wondrous things you did while you were here and your hope that you can grieve the loss of a life you love, and walk into the next with peace and not fear.
Thank you for your brilliance, vulnerability, and commitment to elevating our collective humanity.
May light perpetual envelop you and those who know and love you and may you all encounter peace.
Rebecca Priest
Liebe Naomi
Eine schlimme Nachricht hat mich erreicht, ich denke sehr viel an dich und schließe dich ein in mein Gebet.
Vielen Dank, dass ich durch die die Validation lernen durfte.
Mit meinen Angehörigen Seminaren und Gesprächskreisen für betroffene Angehörige und auch Schulungen für Pflege- und Betreuungspersonal bin ich im Kreis Freudenstadt, im Schwarzwald
mit vielen Angeboten unterwegs. Auch arbeite ich noch teilzeit in Loßburg im Gebrüder-Hehl Stift bei der Bruderhaus Diakonie, und darf da Einzel und Gruppenvalidation anbieten.
Ich bin sehr gut vernetzt mit Stephanie Maser, Validationsmaster.
Sie gibt mir immer wieder Sicherheit und Unterstützung bei Fragen.
Ich grüße dich ganz herzlich
– Susanne Herre
Greetings from Austria
Dear Naomi,
in our nursing school, located in Neunkirchen, Lower Austria, Karin Gal (Validation Teacher) an I (Nursing teacher and Validation practitioner, Level 1) had the pleasure to perform Validation education to a class of so called Pflegefachassistenz (a 2 years program for nursing assistance).
From Karin we learned about your health condition.
The students wanted to express their gratitude for their work with elderly people and their respect for their life’s work.
All together we wish you and your loved ones the best,
m ost sincerely,
Christian
PS: In addition I send a few photos of the students during the lessons and a group photo.
Group photo – from left to right: Thomas, Karin (VT), Luca, Tina, Sebastian, Hannah, Claudia, Maria, Sarah, Christian (Nursing teacher), Thomas.
Warm greeting,
– Christian R. Plank, MSc, BSc
Dear Naomi,
I would like to express my deep gratitude for your work with elderly, frail adults. Your video with Gladys Wilson touched me very much and I have shown it to many people over the years.
God’s blessings on you as you prepare for the journey home to God.
Most sincerely,
– Sr. Judith Connor
Dear Naomi, I thank God for your life, for sharing your experience, for your humble heart filled with love for others…no matter what. I will never forget how you offered me your dessert and we ate together from the same plate in the restaurant. So symbolic and so significant – this memory is forever in my heart. An apartment for others out of love for them. Even if your earthly journey ends, your message will continue. I thank you that I could meet you in person, talk to you and listen to you. Thank you for directing my life professionally and personally! It was an honor for me! Thank you for Slovakia and the Czech Republic.
– Maria Wirth, AVO OZ therapeutiKA, Slovakia
Dear Naomi,
Naomi, my thoughts are with you as you enter this part of your journey.
You have made such an impact on not only me but the world.
Your legacy and life’s work will live on Namoi, through the commitment, dedication and knowledge you have instilled in us.
I am personally committed to Validation as is Meridian Senior Living – marching in the pathway you have paved Naomi.
My love to you and your family and a huge thank you Naomi for your life’s work, your impact is profound and far reaching.
With Love, Gratitude and Admiration.
Kind regards,
– Sue Johnston
As a health care worker who specializes in dementia care, I want to say thank you for being an inspiration. Your teachings have been tremendous in helping not only myself, but my staff and the family members of our residents. I thank you from the bottom of my heart.,
– Cathy Dionne
– Melissa Fry
Naomi,
Thank you so much for your work and improving the life of seniors and paving the way for others to lead intentionally with their hearts as well. I love retelling your stories and see family members’ lives filled with hope….
May these days be filled with joy, contentment, and peace.
– Brandy Puckett
You welcomed us graciously, the interview we did with you was outstanding. Validation therapy is so very important.
My personal connection to Validation therapy is having my mother live with my husband, Bertrand, and me for 2 1/2 years at the end of her life. I did not know the name Validation therapy. But I knew the best thing to do with my mother Annette was to enter into her world and participate with her.
I will certainly continue to support Validation therapy. With two documentaries now produced through Cognitive Dynamics – Validation therapy is essential and works so well with people with memory loss.
Naomi, I treasure you, and I continue to value and support Validation Therapy. I always will.
– Judith Murray
Estimados,
Präsidentin der Interessengemeinschaft pflegender Angehöriger
Hi Naomi
I have never met you in person, but I was gifted in this life to come across you and to attend many webinars with you that Michael would bring each month.
Thank you so much for all that you shared and gave to so many. Your stories, experiences shared, and wisdom will stay with me always, as I endeavour in my path to support people living with dementia, their loved ones and community,
Thank you xx
– Monique Pockran
Chère Naomi,
Nous avons appris avec tristesse votre maladie.
Nous tenions à vous témoigner notre reconnaissance. Voilà maintenant plus d’une dizaine d’années que nous pratiquons et transmettons la Validation avec bonheur et enthousiasme.
Votre méthode nous a permis de rester en lien de façon respectueuse et profondément humaine avec les personnes âgées désorientées.
Pratiquer la Validation nous a ouvertes à des rencontres fortes et authentiques.
Nous sommes bien en pensées avec vous et avec vos proches.
Amitiés.
Marie-Pierre Geiger
Sabine Udry Dumoulin
Teachers – Genève
( Translation:
We were saddened to learn of your illness.
We would like to show our gratitude to you. We have been practicing and transmitting Validation with happiness and enthusiasm for more than ten years now.
Your method allowed us to stay connected in a respectful and deeply human way with disoriented elderly people.
Practicing Validation opened us up to strong and authentic encounters.
We are in our thoughts with you and your loved ones.
Friendships.)
– Marie-Pierre Geiger
Teachers – Genève
Carissime,
Teachers – Genève
(Translation:
Kind regards,
– Dorien Spil
– Laura
Dear Naomi,
Your message came as a shock and I feel very sad, knowing you have to go through this illness.
Meeting you in Brussels at Rhapsodie 25 years ago, has been a privilege. Your ‘spiritual child’ Validation changed my work and my life, I became a better person thanks to you.
I’m forever grateful to you for sharing your wisdom with us.
As a teacher (73) in Flanders, together with Marie-Claire Giard and Doris Van Averbeke, we long for young teachers to ‘spread the word’ with enhanced energy.
I’m very happy to say we finally have a Validation Level 2 course starting on november 23 in Brussels. And two of the students aim at a Teachers’ course in the future.
So please know we carry on being a loving launching platform, to ensure your life work to be embedded in our country, as for to help elderly people feeling heard, respected and able to live in dignity.
Every day, we light a candle for our loved ones, for instance also for our son (47) who has cancer stage IV too. Our candle will light also for you.
We pray for you and wish you harmony, love and peace.
With love,
– Marie-Paule
Dearest Naomi:
It is not that I know you personally to feel free to address you casually, but rather it is because of the place where you reside in my heart. Your brilliance, teaching and sharing have been such a source of strength in these past years. You have allowed my heart to expand in ways I could never have imagined. May the blessing of peace that you have brought to so many return to you in abundance and carry you forward.
With thanks for all the goodness and love that you have brought into our world.
Best,
~Marcia
– Lydia
I am a psychologist and trainer, and always very proud to share what you have taught us about supporting the elderly.
I think very much of you, you have marked my professional life and my practice forever.
It’s so beautiful what you have done, created.
Thank you from the heart.
– Audrey
As an almost-18-year Sunrise veteran, I have seen firsthand the results of Naomi’s teaching. She has revolutionized the way we approach our memory care residents, and in many ways, the way we treat all fellow humans. She has taught us how to be in the moment and to be ever mindful of safeguarding the dignity of our elders, and her impact cannot be overstated. I pray that she will enjoy her remaining time in comfort, peace, and joy, and that her family will know that their Sunrise family is holding them all close to our hearts.
With the utmost of love and respect,
– Kathy McDonagh
Business Office Coordinator (and former AVC)
Sunrise of Shelby Township
Dear Naomi,
I was saddened to hear your bad news. You have played a big part in my academic life and vocational career. I came across your book on validation by chance some years ago and after reading it, I felt so inspired. I have gone on to study a BA, MSc and now my PhD in Dementia Studies. I have used validation again and again. I have also gained much insight and knowledge and thank you for what you have shared.
Take care beautiful lady,
– Pam
Dear Naomi,
What you tell me about your health pains me a lot and makes me sad.
I will keep your joy and how you embodied Validation in your conferences and meetings.
We have known each other for thirty years and I also remember the trips made together between airports and conference cities with your songs in the car, the escapades after the conferences for very late shows, the night walk where our hearts cried out for joy in the streets of Brest with the entire organizing group!
From reading your first book in French found randomly at the Strasbourg train station in 1992, we began, stammered Validation near the disoriented elderly people we knew, and you never left us on a path that will never end.
We send you recognition, gratitude and thanks and all our energy for your daily life.
Sincerely
Paul Choisnet
Validation Teacher
Naomi Changed My Life
Oh my goodness I’m so saddened to hear this news. But you have left so many of us with gratitude, respect & bring something into this world & for me I’m so very, very grateful.
I’ve been following you for over nearly 2 decades. My promise to you is that I will continue in the steps to share your amazing legacy💜🌺
I hope you know how special you are, this world is a better place for you’re presence & gift to us all who have learnt so much through your teachings🙏🏻
I am so grateful for you touching my life.
My love to you & yours🌺🙏🏻I can imagine the love that surrounds you💜🩷
I’ll stay true to you always. Enjoy your loved ones, you’re one very special Human🙏🏻
Thank you always & forever from lil ol me here in Tasmania Australia.
Love always
Lainey Kitschke xx🌟🕊️
Hello!
I am so sad to hear that Naomi has terminal cancer.
I would like to thank her for her work and inspiration. I am sending my warmest thoughts and love to her and her family.
Thank you, Naomi!
– Anna Pyrih
Querida Naomi,
El día que conocí la Validación descubrí el sentido de mi trabajo con las personas mayores desorientadas y el día que pude verte en acción en la jornada de Barcelona comenzó mi admiración hacia ti como persona, con esa energía, magnetismo y capacidad de comunicación.
Siento mucho la noticia de tu enfermedad y espero estés acompañada por las personas que amas y te den la seguridad y dignidad que has practicado y extendido durante tu vida.
Gracias por existir y recibe mi reconocimiento a tu legado y mi amor hacia ti como bellísima persona.
Hasta siempre
Dolors Cano
Barcelona
Translation
Dear Naomi,
The day I learned about Validation, I discovered the meaning of my work with disoriented older people and the day I was able to see you in action at the Barcelona event, my admiration for you as a person began, with that energy, magnetism and ability to communicate.
I am very sorry to hear about your illness and I hope you are accompanied by the people you love and who give you the security and dignity that you have practiced and extended throughout your life.
Thank you for existing and receiving my recognition of your legacy and my love for you as a beautiful person.
See you forever,
Dolors Cano
Barcelona
Dear Naomi,
My heart sank as I read your recent message about your cancer diagnosis, and entry into palliative care. I wanted you to know that I appreciate the update, and will be continuing to remember you and your family and loved ones in thought, prayer, and kind and compassionate regard in the coming days, weeks, and months.
I wanted to take this opportunity to express my deep appreciation to you for the difference you have made in my life, and the lives of countless others, including students, caregivers, and professionals with whom I have been able to share your work, philosophy, and story. I am sorry to say that as a neurologist, I had not had the good fortune of being exposed to Validation until after I was thrust into a caregiving role for my father, Lester, who was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease in 2001. In trying to educate myself, I soon found your videos and book, and they have been transformative in my career, and personally. In fact, no one has had a greater influence on me as a neurologist who cares for persons who are living with cognitive impairment, than you, Naomi.
Furthermore, I am so grateful that you allowed me, Judith Murray, and Brian Covert to come to your home and interview you in 2013. The video footage that was obtained at that time, and in a later session or two, continues to impact many lives as part of the educational offerings from our foundation, Cognitive Dynamics, and as an essential part of my teaching in our college course called Bringing Art to Life. Students consistently rate your videos and writings as one of their favorite parts of the course, and I am thankful to be able to continue using those each semester in my class.
Since my first exposure to you and your work through the video with you and Gladys Wilson, continuing through our collaborative work with you and Vicki, I remain deeply grateful and indebted to you, inspired by you, and committed to continue to follow your principles on a daily basis in my work as a neurologist, now caregiver for my mother who also has Alzheimer’s, educator of students and caregivers, and as an advocate for those living with dementia and their caregivers through the American Academy of Neurology. It is also my goal to educate as many of my colleagues in medicine as possible about your methods and philosophy.
Best wishes to you, friend, and you will remain a part of our lives as time moves forward.
– Daniel C. Potts, MD, FAAN
Wir hängen dazwischen.
Altes ist leer geworden,
es klingt hohl,
bringt wenig zum Schwingen in uns.
Worte,
Lieder,
Gesten,
Bewegungen,
Gedankengebäude,
sie betreffen uns nicht mehr,
und darum sind wir nicht betroffen.
Es geschieht etwas an uns
aber nicht in uns.
Wir warten.
Wir überlegen.
Wir sind unsicher.
Wir ahnen.
Das Neue ist noch nicht da.
Vorsichtig hat es sich angedeutet.
Wir sehen es in inneren Bildern.
Wir wissen, dass es kommen wird,
weil wir das Alte ablegen.
Es hat noch keinen Namen.
Die alten Worte passen nicht.
Unsere Vorstellungen sind noch zu eng.
Wege sind noch nicht deutlich und gebahnt.
Schon die Ansätze laufen gegen Blockaden.
Und der Preis des Wartens fordert uns heraus.
Hier zu stehen
In diesem Nicht-Mehr und Noch-Nicht,
ist eine Form von Glauben,
und sich die Lösungen der Vergangenheit
nicht mehr zu genehmigen,
ist Ausdruck des Vertrauens,
dass alles weitergeht,
dass es einen Punkt gibt,
auf den wir zuströmen,
dass es eine Kraft gibt,
die die Entwicklung steuert.
Ich will mich der Veränderung nicht entziehen.
Ich will loslassen,
um wieder Neues umarmen zu können.
Und auch das will ich wieder loslassen,
in einer ständigen Entwicklung
auf meinen Ursprung zu,
auf die Vollkommenheit, aus der ich komme
und zu der ich gehe.
( nach Ulrich Schaffer…….. für Dich, liebe Naomi von mir etwas verändert.)
Liebe Naomi,
ich denke an Dich, sende Dir eine ganz innige Umarmung
und habe Dich sehr lieb.
Herzlichste Grüße aus Bremen,Love , Deine Heidrun
Hello dearest Naomi.
I have been playing therapeutic harp for elderly people, patients and people in need (in various facilities and centres), in the majority of the cases pro bono (voluntarily), for quite some time now.
During my service, there is occasional verbal interaction with the recipient of the therapeutic music. Whenever I need to talk with them and also with the care-givers (social workers, psychologists, doctors, family), I attune myself to the Validation frequency within me.
It has been graceful for me to be in this state and also empowering and connective. I see that it is empowering, warm and humane also for the others.
Validating myself and people around me brings flow, connection, warmth and joy, even in challenging moments, in every environment i.e. family, job, therapeutic vocation, connection with spouse, neighbours, co-workers, my students.
I have been following your work for some years now and diligently your monthly web meetings with Michael Verde from Memory Bridge.
I have been visiting in my soul this special place of inspiration and comfort and joy each time I have been with you two during your conversations together.
I am grateful for having you into my life.
Here is a link from a recent video of mine.
It is called ‘I am a Bridge’ and was created in summer 2023. It is about the noble work we are invited to do with/for elderly people:
https://www.instagram.com/p/CxIS4BKIKtQ/
The lyrics talk about values of the Validation method and nuances that Michael Verde explores in his teachings and retreats.
Please feel free to share any comments and feelings with me.
Thank you, Naomi.
With love and deep gratitude,
maria a. angeli
Greece
Thank You for just being YOU! REEB
Miss Naomi,
All I can say is THANK YOU for just being YOU!
Earlier this year, I was introduced to your work in Validation. Your life’s work has truly made a difference in my life.
I am doing my best to practice the principles of Validation in both my professional ( I am dementia educator) and
in my personal life. What a game changer!
Thank you for being a pioneer in truly what it means to lead and serve from the heart!
You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers during this time. God Bless.
Take care & be well,
Linda Odom
Just wanted to send a message to say I’m so sorry to hear your devastating news.
I wanted to let you know how much I’ve enjoyed engaging with your material about validation.
Most sincerely,
– Sarah
Be joyful always. Pray continually. And give thanks in all circumstances.
– Nicole
– Michele Gordon, ADC/CDP
– Suzanne Tiemstra
I had the pleasure of going to one of your Validation seminars early in my career. It was in Raleigh, NC in the early 1990’s and I was a young Social Worker in a nursing home. I always say I learned the hard way, but once I went to that seminar it revolutionized my understanding about dementia and communication. I have never been the same since, and the many residents and families that I have had the privilege to serve have benefited as well. Later in my career, I worked for Sunrise Senior Living and was able to become Level I and Level II certified. The depth of those courses further developed my skills and I count it a great honor to be able to use those skills everyday in professional life. Thank you for changing the narrative around dementia care! The world will never be the same because of your dedication, passion and insight.
May God richly bless your last months on this earth,
– Maureen
Dear Naomi,
On behalf of every Diversional and Recreational Therapist in Aotearoa New Zealand, we thank you for your commitment and love to better the lives of people around the globe through the Validation Method.
I have personally enjoyed meeting you online, asking you questions, and listening to your amazing advice and constructive feedback always. As you prepare for the next stage of life, please know that many love you, and we will sorely miss seeing you, however we know that you will always be present in our lives.
You have shaped my professional practice, and I will take you with me wherever I go.
With lots of love and respect.
– Orquidea Tamayo Mortera
President for the New Zealand Society of Diversional and Recreational Therapists Inc.
Thank you Naomi!
– Jennifer Lecher, Future Validation Worker
Dear Naomi
your validation is a Philosophy of life and should generally be part of the standardized communication of everyone in life.
I wish you a good and pain-free time.
Thank you for letting me get to know you.
Sincerely and with deep love,
– your Janos from Switzerland
Dear Naomi and Vicki and friends and validation team,
Liebe Naomi,
auf einem deiner Vorträge standen wir gemeinsam auf einer Bühne und haben ein Schlaflied gesungen.
Das wird mir unvergessen bleiben.
Herzlichen Dank für deine Anregungen und für dein wunderbares Wesen.
Gott schütze dich auf deinem letzten Weg.
Herzliche Grüße
– Inge Starck
(Translation: All the best
Dear Naomi,
At one of your lectures we stood together on a stage and sang a lullaby.
I will never forget that.
Thank you very much for your suggestions and for your wonderful nature.
God protects you on your final journey. )
Dear Naomi,
Hi Naomi
My thoughts are with you. May you always be blessed.
Kindest
– Sheldon
Dear Naomi
Your work is not only inspirational and foundational to our work at Memory Lane TV but also represents a huge legacy for thousands of care partners around the world. My thoughts and prayers are with your family and friends during this challenging time.
With love, respect and gratefulness,
– Alban Maino
Dear Naomi
I am so grateful to learn from you about Validation. It has made a huge difference with my residents and older family members. I hope to continue learning from this wonderful Validation Training I am in. You have touched me so deeply and I thank you.
Dear Naomi:
– Francesca Metelli
With Affection,
Dearest Naomi,
Sincerely,
Dear Naomi,
when I saw and experienced you in July 1996, in Baden Baden at a workshop for the first time, I was thrilled.
Bright days but also crying, laughing, it was an eventful time that began with me.
For that, dear Naomie, I would like to thank you very much.
Many meetings and events in Worms, Strasbourg, Bad Dürkheim, etc.
have made me richer. Enclosed you find pictures from our workshop in Worms 1999.
These days with you have strengthened me to go my way as a validation teacher.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
A Tibetan wisdom: Wer seinen Platz gefunden hat, der ähnelt einem Baum: Er schlägt Wurzeln und streift nicht mehr umher.
Have a good trip dear NAOMIE
– Hildegard Riedl
Naomi,
I will never be able to fully communicate the impact you have had on me, both personally and professionally. I was very close to my great-grandmothers, whom I was fortunate to have until I was in my late teens and both whom were living with dementia. They were my first education into dementia care and I have always wanted to find ways to honor their legacy in my work in helping teach people who are care partners to those living with dementia. You were the first trainer I was introduced to through your video training on Validation Method, and continued with many educational opportunities I have completed since then that feature your method. Your work inspired me to really look at each person, look beyond the symptoms they are experiencing, and see the human needs that are there and need to be expressed. I strive each interaction to carry with me what I have learned from you, and to help teach others and share your message of compassion and kindness. Thank you for bravely sharing your story and talking openly about your diagnosis. I appreciate the opportunity to send this message to you, along with the countless others you have inspired through your work. I am thinking of you, praying for you and your family, and will keep using the skills you have taught me to help others. Thank you.
– Cameo Rogers
Corporate Life Enrichment Manager
Hochgeschätzte, liebe Naomi Feil,
im Namen aller Teilnehmenden unserer Fachtagung in Wien am 13.11.2023 zum Thema Total Pain im hohen Alter sende ich Ihnen folgende Botschaft: Das Wissen, dass hochaltrige Menschen auf vielfältige und eben nicht nur körperliche Weise Leid empfinden, es aber nicht immer ausdrücken können, vor allem, wenn sie desorientiert sind, ist uns sehr wichtig. Von Ihnen, Naomi Feil, haben wir gelernt, wie schmerzhaft die Vergangenheit sich in die Gegenwart drängen kann und wie sehr die Menschen dann darauf angewiesen sind, dass wir ihnen offen, ehrlich und eben auch validierend begegnen. Sie brauchen unsere Ohren und unsere Aufmerksamkeit, unser Interesse und unsere innere Zuwendung. Das bedeutet nicht viel Zeit, sondern viel Präsenz. Wir sind sehr dankbar für alles, was wir und unsere Kolleginnen über und von Validation lernen konnten. Wir sagen Ihnen heute, dass wir das nach Kräften anwenden wollen. Den Schatz der Validation wollen wir alle in der Gegenwart nutzen und in die Zukunft tragen. Aus Wien senden wir Ihnen herzliche Grüße und Segen. Petra Rösler für rund 100 Teilnehmer:innen.
Petra Rösler
– Kardinal König Haus, Vienna Austria
Dear Naomi,
I was saddened to hear your bad news. You have played a big part in my academic life and vocational career. I came across your book on validation by chance some years ago and after reading it, I felt so inspired. I have gone on to study a BA, MSc and now my PhD in Dementia Studies. I have used validation again and again. I have also gained much insight and knowledge and thank you for what you have shared.
Take care beautiful lady,
Pam
– Health Lecturer in UK
Dear Naomi
I had such a pleasure meeting you with Vicki a few years ago in Paris.
Thank you for being you and for having accompanied so many people over all these years.
Thank you for sharing with us all your keys to communication and kindness towards misguided people. You are a model in whom I have the greatest respect and having had the chance to see you remains and will remain engraved.
May you be as well accompanied as you accompanied
Lots of courage and strength for you
Please receive all my affection for you and your loved ones.
– Audrey Bocquet
Dear Naomi
– Monique
Ich danke Dir von Herzen (I thank you from the bottom of my heart)
Dear Naomi,
You have ensured that people with dementia around the world are seen as people first and not as mindless. I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
How lucky I was to have met you over 25 years ago! It is a great honor and a great joy for me to be able to teach your validation to this day. Whenever I meet the very elderly in our retirement homes and see what validation does, I am once again fascinated and grateful that you have taken this brilliant step and thereby improved the world for all of us. Thank God you didn’t end up with George Clooney and Oceans 37 ! Your workshops were so much better. I’ll tell you about it as long as I live.
Hedwig wishes you all the best for your life
Dear Naomi, thank-you so very much for sharing Validation with the world. You have changed the way we communicate with people living with dementia. You have given all of us this gift. I will always be grateful for you and your wisdom. May God Bless you for your work.
– Michael Krauthamer
a sweet dance takes you far…
and your wings will open”
Naomi…the seeds she sowed
have flourished…her entire community
she will take care of them
bloom again…bloom again…bloom again.
Thank you with all my heart
Sabrina
una danza soave ti porta lontano..
e le tue ali si apriranno “
Naomi…i semi da lei seminati
sono fioriti…tutta la sua comunità
se ne prenderà cura per farli
rifiorire…rifiorire…rifiorire ancora.
Grazie di cuore
Sabrina
Claudine Zurcher
Dear Mrs Feil!
Thank you for everything!!!!
– Andrea from Germany
Naomi has had an incredible impact on the field of dementia and senior care. Her steadfast approach to educating those of us who didn’t understand or know how to interact with seniors who had challenges connecting with those of us that love and care for them is incredibly moving.
– Nicole Bergquist
Dear Mrs. De Klerk,
We received the touching message from Mrs. Naomi Feil and we would like to respond with some words of support even though it is very difficult given the sensitive moment.
However, we think it is important to thank both you and you mother, Mrs. Naomi Feil, and to point out our appreciation for all the work she has done in this field.
As a distant retirement home from your place, we did not feel the many kilometres of difference between us (Brissago, Switzerland) and you. Instead, we have perceived the constant presence of Mrs. Naomi Feil’s hand and her influence on our medical structure is still present today.
Because of this we thank her very much for all good teachings and we promise that the institute Casa San Giorgio will carry forward his method as the values that characterize the Validation approach.
Hoping to have made you smile with our simple words, we wish your entire family a time of pure sharing and serenity.
With gratitude and great respect, – Miodrag Jankovic
Dear Naomi,
How sad to hear this sad news.
I wanted to say thank you.
Thank you for the meaning you brought to my work.
Thank you for the esteem that this brings to the people supported.
Thank you for the bonds that this creates between caregivers and elderly people.
Be sure that Validation resonates with many caregivers and that Validation will continue to be transmitted.
– Laetitia Teacher Geneva
Not anymore and not yet
We're stuck in between.
The old has become empty,
it sounds hollow,
does little to make us vibrate.
words,
Songs,
gestures,
movements,
thought building,
they no longer affect us,
and that's why we are not affected.
Something is happening to us
but not in us.
We are waiting.
We are thinking about.
We are uncertain.
We suspect.
The new thing isn't here yet.
It was cautiously suggested.
We see it in inner images.
We know it's coming,
because we are putting aside the old.
It doesn't have a name yet.
The old words don't fit.
Our ideas are still too narrow.
Paths are not yet clear and paved.
Even the approaches are running against blockages.
And the price of waiting challenges us.
To stand here
In this no-more and not-yet,
is a form of belief
and the solutions of the past
no longer approved,
is an expression of trust,
that everything goes on,
that there is a point
towards which we stream,
that there is a power
that controls development.
I don't want to shy away from change.
I want to let it go
to be able to embrace new things again.
And I want to let go of that too,
in constant development
towards my origin,
to the perfection from which I come
and to which I shall go.
( Ulrich Schaffer)…….. changed by me for you, dear Naomi. Dear Naomi!
We send you a smile to your room:
A smile that we captured from a child playing,
in a person who learned contentment,
with someone who endured hardships with calmness,
in one who leans towards a sick person,
with someone who lovingly comforts you
and someone to whom someone has said: You don’t have to be afraid.
You are not alone, we are with you with good thoughts…
With these lines we would like to thank you lovingly for the gift of your validation.
Validation has enriched our lives incredibly. We experience many wonderful moments from the disoriented people we meet.
We will carry on Validation with joy and keep you in our hearts.
Maria Heidegger and Hanspeter Maurer
I want to thank you with all my heart for the richness you have brought into my life.
His teachings have been like a powerful beacon along a shadowy road.
And if I found the courage to become a teacher of this wonderful Method, it is thanks to the constant thought that I have always kept fixed on her.
She is in my heart.
– Annalisa Calisti
Dearest Naomi,
My life changed 10 years ago when I saw the video clip of how you connected with Gladys Wilson. At that moment I knew I had to learn Validation to compliment my work of touch that I was doing with people who were living with dementia.
I studied Validation and was so amazed by the results, that I continued studying, and became a Validation teacher.
I have been sharing Validation all over the world, but most recently I have begun teaching reflexologists who have totally embraced Validation. There will soon be many more holistic practitioners globally who will learn and use Validation.
Your method, compassion, and ideas are truly spreading around the world and will continue to grow and grow.
Thank you so much for giving all of us this incredible gift to help older people with cognitive impairment. Your work has and will continue to change the way the world relates to people with dementia.
With much love and appreciation,
– Oran Aviv
Hands-on Dementia
Dear Naomi,
I have read that you have palliative care. I want to thank you and Vicky for inspiring me. You never stoppes giving information. Even the you tubes with you and Vicky During Corona. As gentle clown I use validation for 15 years now. My father had Alzheimer and my mother is 80 and for 3th time now cancer but Still Alive and positive. I give lessons About dementia to care givers for 5 years. Always show your book and you tube to inspire Them. Thank you for Being who you are. Great respect. Validation Will still be here and you Will always be in
Our memories!!
– Geert Baetens
Belgium
Dear Naomi-
I will be thinking of you often. I was so saddened to hear about your news of metastatic cancer. I am glad you have family and others by your side right now. Wishing you much peace and comfort at this time. You have touched so many people’s lives, it is incredible what you have accomplished. I met you thru Country Meadows, when it was first becoming a Validation training center. I feel so fortunate to have had a chance to learn from you. Your lifelong dedication to serving and bettering the lives for older adults has left such an impact worldwide. Even though it has been years since I saw you or received validation training- I still look upon the information and experiences from that time as some of the most important I have had. Thank you for all of your advocacy and love for the elderly. You have been such a gift to so many. Sending love to you and your family.
– Kara Ray
Dear Naomi,
Video by Maureen Sirianni
Wachenheim Teacher Meeting
Video by Amber Ten Brink
Video by Japanese Teachers
